Let’s Talk About Sex

It is not at all uncommon for males of all ages to have problems relating to sex and sexual expression.

This can be anything from worrying about the size of your penis (according to the NHS website the average is between 5 inches and 7 inches when erect), through to issues relating to sexual functioning and enjoyment.

Some ‘common’ issues males can experience relating to sexual functioning and enjoyment can include:

  • Erectile Dysfunction: Difficulties in terms of getting or keeping an erection.
  • Premature Ejaculation: Ejaculating sooner than you would want to during sex.
  • Loss of Libido: Decrease in or lack of activity relative to sexual thoughts and desires.

As it relates to sex, which for most is an intimate and highly sensitive issue, challenges in this area can be difficult for males to speak about and/or seek support with.

For a lot of males, issues in this area can have a profound impact on their confidence and sense of ‘manhood’ leading them to doubt their own abilities, worth or masculinity.

However, trying to ignore difficulties in this area not only means you are avoiding tackling an issue that could be changed and improved, it can add to your feelings of stress, low mood and low self-confidence which in turn could only prolong or exacerbate the issues.

Sometimes the reasons why a male could be facing challenges in this area can relate to physical reasons and as a starting point, it is worth considering going along and having a chat with your GP or another medical professional.

Just as likely though, the ‘barrier’ to performance and satisfaction could relate to a psychological (mental and/or emotional), reason such as stress, anxiety, a distorted body concept or unrealistic expectations surrounding your level of sexual performance and technique.

Let’s not forget that sexual attraction and/or stimulation usually starts in the head (not lower down), so if our head is busy dealing with other things, or going into ‘panic mode’ when the concept of sex enters it, its not surprising that being psychologically under pressure can have an adverse impact.

In session, what is very common is to see males presenting with difficulties integrating sex and love into one person and one relationship, not at all surprising considering certain aspects of our culture promote an image of males as being focused on the ‘conquest’ and being actively encouraged not to engage their feelings when they engage in sexual activity.

Males, please, please do not suffer on in silence. You deserve to have a happy, healthy and satisfying sex life. If something is wrong, most likely there will be some way to tackle and improve it (either physically or psychologically), so be brave, take the issue by the b**ls and seek out information, advice and support to make a positive change.

The NHS website has a great range of information available on sexual dysfunction which could make a good starting point to tackling the issue. Please also consider getting some counselling if your suspicion is that your ‘barrier’ to sexual happiness is more of a psychological one.